Welcome to Vegeta Comedy night, where you can hear some of the lamest, corny, and not so funny jokes about Vegeta, I am serious. Now let’s welcome our host- Vegeta!
“Alright you weaklings….errrr folks, I’ve come here tonight because some people have been complaining about my so-called rotten personality, especially my wife. So I’ve decided to make you people laugh, yes, LAUGH! you better LAUGH or….errrr… just enjoy the show… >:)”
“I just came from Planet Vegeta and boy is my Ki worn out!”
“Why did the Saiya-jin kill the chicken?”
“To eat it with Saiya-jin pride!”
*The crowd goes silent and crickets are heard in the distance
“Ummmmmm…….Your momma’s ki is so low that it makes it look like Mr. Satan actually defeated Cell!”
*Drums and cymbal sound, the crowd is still silent
“Errrrrr…….how many Nameks does it take to build a rocket ship?”
“Zero! because Kami-Sama has already left the building!”
*The crowd is speechless*
Crowd Member: GET OFF THE STAGE SPROUT HEAD!
Vegeta: EAT THIS! *Fires a Ki blast at the person*
Vegeta: Now, then……
Top Ten ways for you know that Vegeta kicked your ass
10. You’re actually dead
9. You remain in the hospital, never able to recover
8. Your parents buy you a special bed called a coffin
7. At least one part of your body was hit through
6. Your ashes have been bagged
5. Your friends begin picking up your scattered body parts
4. You actually met Kaiou-Sama
3. You wake up and see seven orange balls flying through the air
2. You vow never to eat vegetables again
1. Vegeta actually kicked your ass, and you finally learn how to fly
Top Ten ways on how to piss Vegeta off
10. Insult his hair-do
9. Tell him that Saiya-jins are weak
8. Try to beat up Trunks while Vegeta’s around
7. Propose marriage to Bulma
6. Tell him that he’ll never become the strongest
5. Tell him he’s named after a vegetable
4. Tell him that you’re stronger than him
3. Steal his Dragon Ball
2. Tell him that Bulma is having an affair with Goku and Freeza
1. Tell him that Kakarrot is stronger than him
Top ten rejected Vegeta products
10. Vegeta brand Vegetables
9. Vegeta gel and hair spray
8. Vel-geta cheese
7. Vegeta brand salads
6. Vegeta’s chow mein and brussel sprouts
5. Kakarrot Cake (This ain’t a Vegeta product, but oh well)
4. Suppa Steriods
3. The Saiya-jin workout program and video
2. A midget’s way to lose weight video
1. Vegeta’s book on how to kick someone’s ass
Top ten rejected Vegeta toys
10. The life-like robotic Vegeta sparring buddy
9. Vegeta action figure with Big Bang and Final Flash action
8. The Vegeta killer glove
7. The Oozaru furby
6. Cabbage patch Nappa
5. The Power Wheels Vegeta Spaceship
4. Saiya-jins in a barrel
3. Combing hair Zarbon
2. 4-layer Freeza
1. The Big Bang Attack intruder alarm
Top ten reasons to make Vegeta President
10. You will be able to kick ass without any worry from the cops
9. Saiya-jins will always win lawsuits
8. Uncensored Dragon Ball
7. “Saiya-jins” are now part of the military
6. Riots all the way
5. FUNimation wiped off the face of the planet
4. Vice president Ryo Horikawa, commander in chief Brian Drummond
3. Short yet angry speeches
2. One solution for every problem: Just blow the whole thing up
1. Capsule Corporation beats everyone in the industry!
0. Vegeta looks cool in a suit ^_^
Top ten rejected Vegeta Video games
10. Life or Death Saiya-jin Combat
9. Saiya-jin Fighter
8. Saiya-jin Fighter 2
7. Saiya-jin Fighter 2 Championship edition
6. Super Saiya-jin Fighter 2 Turbo championship edition alpha
5. Buffy the Saiya-jin Slayer
4. Vegeta’s garden: Vegetable growing simulation
3. Sim Saiya-jin
2. Saiya-jins vs. Nameks super brawl
1. A Vegeta 3D shooter
Top Ten rejected Vegeta voice actors
10. James Earl Jones
9. Rob Paulsen (Oops! that should be Goku’s voice!)
8. Gary Sinise
7. Bruce Willis
6. Sylvester Stallone
4. Rip Torn
3. Tommy Lee Jones
2. Mark Hamill
1. Kevin Conroy (Batman)
Top ten things you don’t wanna know about Vegeta
10. How many planets have a warrant for his arrest
9. What he ate on planet Namek
8. How many people he killed in his life
7. Ex girlfriends or mates
6. If he can sing
5. What parts of the body he’s seen, internally
4. How many alien races hate him
3. His dreams
2. How he keeps his hair up even when he falls in water
Top Ten Reasons Why The Chicks Dig Vegeta by Robert S.
10. The car. Chicks dig the car. Oh, wait… he flies.
9. When you hang out with guys like Krillin, Nappa, and Piccolo, you’re just bound to look great.
8. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.
7. Turning a Saiyan down only makes him hotter!
6. Anytime someone rejects him, he blows up their planet.
5. When he sees someone use a lame come-on line like, “You must be tired, because you’ve been runnin’ through my mind all day,” he blasts them to the next dimension.
4. He may not be Prince Charming, but he is a prince.
3. No one can deny his great hairstyle.
2. Super Saiyan – Some days you feel like a blonde, some days you don’t.
1. They wonder if he can power up in other places besides the battlefield.
Vegeta’s top pick up lines: by CodyWO
1) Wanna see my golden Oozaro?
2) You remind me of Bulma, except you don’t whine as much.
3) You’re going to go out with me, or I’ll blow this whole planet to kingdom come.
4) You could be killed by a Ki-Blast any minute now.
5) Sure American Dragon Ball Z is bad, but at least it’s not as bad as this joint.
6) I’m a prince… No really! I’m serious!
7) Unless you come with me, I’ll give you a fourth bodily opening.
8) Would you rather go out with Krillen?
9) At least I don’t look like Majin Buu.
10) Sure I tried to blow up the planet, but then I found out you lived here.
TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW THAT VEGETA HAS A CRUSH ON YOU By Rebecca S.
1. He didn’t kill you on sight.
2. He’s at your house every night with a bottle of wine and says it’s not drugged.
3. He kills any man you lock eyes with.
4. When you get back from a date he’s waiting right there and demands to now who you were with.
5. He shields you with his own skin when one of Freeza’s attacks is coming toward you.
6. Buys you the Wonder Bra from Victoria’s Secret.
7. Brings home a million dollars he stole from the bank.
8. Leaves when you say you wished you owned Fort Knox.
9. Gives you the Hope Diamond for Christmas.
10. Actually apoligizes when he blasts the roof off your house when you refused to let him stay the night.
Top Ten Reasons Vageta Has Spiked Hair by DBZ SD
10) It makes him look bigger
9) It is the easiest thing to do with it
8) It hides some of his bold spots
7) It can be used as a blade if he puts enough hair spray in it
6) Doesn’t get in his face during battle
5) His ancestors did it too!
4) It makes him more aerodynamic when he flies
3) Bulma likes it
2) When people stare at his hair, he likes to blast them.
1) HE WANTS IT THAT WAY!!!!!!!!
Vegeta’s top ten least favorite vegetables by Shikkadog
10 ) yougart ( guldo )
9) durain ( dodoria – bad smelling fruit )
8) zabon ( zarbon – citrus fruit )
7) cabbage ( nappa a kind of cabbage )
6) rice ( gohan means rice )
5) raddishes ( radditz )
4) pickles ( piccolo )
3) bread ( pan is bread in spanish )
2) brocoli ( brolly )
1) CARROTS ( kakorott goku’s sai-jin name )
Why chicks dig Vegeta II by Kuriyamimizu
10: the hair, you jus’ haveta love the fro’!
9: He may be short but I think he’s perfect in all the places that it counts. ~.^
8: He has a cute butt! (Watch the Freeza saga, there’s a whole sequence with him buck naked.)
7: Trunks. The kid is a fine boy, he had to get it from somewhere. It sure wasn’t from Bulma’s side of the family.
6: He doesn’t need a bra like some Saya-jin when they’re powered up. Just look at Goku when in SSJ 1, he needs a bra more than I do! o_O
5: He’s the best looking Sayajin outta the lot, take Nappa. No more need be said.
4: He has no mercy and he’s got style
3: He looks good in nothing but a tail.
2: If you or I screamed, people would look. When he screams, mountains crumble.
1:What can we say? Us chicks dig the short, evil types…….and he’s royal no less
*The crowd boos and throws tomatoes at Vegeta*